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How to prepare for a successful committed relationship

Are you in the heady early stages of your relationship and planning to deepen your commitment, move in together, have a child, or even marry? 

Do you realise that this is the golden opportunity to set the course for a rewarding and growth-focused relationship? 

Or - because it feels so good now - do you hope you’ll be immune to the difficulties you see in warring or emotionally empty couples, or those 40-odd percent who divorce? 

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May 29, 2025 by Gemma Keaney

I don't want to watch you fight. I want to watch you heal

Why do couples try to fight in front of me?

I see a lot of people show up with the idea that if they could only just say their piece to their partner in the presence of a stranger that their partner will finally understand and finally say ‘Oh my God! Why didn’t I hear what you’re saying before... meet your demands... satisfy your need... bend to your will, etc etc etc.?’ 

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April 24, 2024 by Gemma Keaney

Statistically destined to fail?

“The secret to a successful relationship is ensuring that there is a ‘healthy’ ratio of positive to negative interactions.” I was told recently by someone who’d read one of Dr. John Gottman’s books. 

“Yep, I can get that”, I thought.

He went on to explain, “And the magic ratio is 5 to 1, meaning that every negative interaction needs to be countered by five or more positive interactions. Otherwise your relationship is basically screwed’.

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April 7, 2024 by Gemma Keaney

To Circumcise Or Not To Circumcise? That Is The Question

I was talking to a friend the other day who told me that he and his wife never broached the subject of whether their son should be circumcised.

“The subject just never came up. We just didn't..... talk about it. We didn't talk about anything really."

How a child is going to be brought up is one of countless decisions that a couple needs to make.

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March 23, 2025 by Gemma Keaney

"It's better than being alone.... Just..."

These are the precise words I heard my partner say the other day.

These words were spoken in response to suffering 5 hours witnessing my ‘process’ for emptying the recycling bin.I had taken about 5 hours to empty the recycling bin. Why? For a number of barely rational (and therefore invalid?) reasons that made perfect sense to the way I roll with life.

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March 4, 2024 by Gemma Keaney